I truly believe everything happens for a reason.
Every moment from a business decision to a new friendship to a devastating heartbreak is supposed to happen. All are lessons needed to grow and transform ourselves.
Author of “Get Up and Keep Going”, Garett Guenot shares his insight on how to deal with the struggles by embracing them and becoming the hero you need to be.
In many of the fairy tales, stories, Greek myths, theatrical plays, or movies, as well as inspiring true stories of people throughout history, they portray a journey of transformation that turns ordinary individuals into heroes.
In the beginning, an individual is faced with a challenge, a struggle, or a tragedy that appears insurmountable and nearly destroys the person’s life. The individual is then faced with a choice of transformation or accepting defeat and annihilation. Out of seemingly impossible odds and circumstances, this person is able to search deep within his or her soul and find the courage to face and defeat these challenges and overcome tragedy. By undergoing a deep and powerful inner transformation through these inner and outer battles, the ordinary citizen is molded into the hero and arises victorious over the darkness in his or her life.
Does this hero’s journey sound familiar?
You are on this journey of transformation. You will continue to be faced with challenges, struggles, and even tragedies. During these seemingly impossible circumstances and problems you too will be faced with the choice of complete transformation or defeat and annihilation.
You can choose to search the depths of your soul and find the strength and courage to overcome any challenge in your life and arise as the hero you are. Remember this, because it is in your deepest, darkest moments of your life that you will have to find the light within you and shine through the shadows. Be brave even when you’re trembling in fear. We are all on this journey of transformation, and know that on this journey you’re not alone.
There are lessons behind the journey of our lives, especially in experiences like the abyss. One of those lessons is that pain, challenges, and problems are a part of life; however, they do have meaning and can serve a purpose in how we create our lives.
How are you going to use your experiences to re-create your life?
On May 3, 1980, thirteen-year-old Cari Lightner was walking down a quiet road on her way to a carnival when she was struck and killed by a reckless drunk driver. Cari’s mother, Candace Lightner, endured the agonizing pain that no parent ever wants to or should have to endure. Out of her pain and suffering Candance found purpose and made it her mission to do everything in her power so that others would not have to go through the same experience. She later founded MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving). Since its inception, the organization has influenced change in legislation, expanded awareness of drunk driving, and supported families across North America. Her organization has helped many people through their pain by providing a sense of community and helping others channel their grief into action.
Lessons From Pain
Pain can be an incredible teacher. It can take us deep within ourselves and help us discover more of who we are and what we need to change in our world, and it allows us to examine what really matters.
In fact, I’ve had many clients tell me that hitting rock bottom was a wake-up call. Other clients have told me that they’re grateful for their pain because of the number of positive changes that came from it.
In my own life I have recognized and have come to appreciate how my struggles have molded me and shaped the development of my life. In fact, many of my skills as a clinician have come from a desire to understand and work through personal pain.
My divorce taught me how to have better relationships in my personal life and provided me with priceless experience to help couples navigate through their issues in therapy. My financial struggles taught me fiscal responsibility and how to manage money. And the pain of being in the abyss taught me the depth of who I am and helped me develop a stronger foundation in my character, a stronger backbone, and tougher skin to deal with life’s problems.
The old saying that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is entirely true if you’re willing to learn from your pain and use it to shape your life for the better in the future.
Your ability to move from victim to hero all depends on the meaning that you attach to your pain. Your pain and your experiences can be whatever you want them to be. You give them meaning in your life. Your pain can be an excuse to fall apart, give up, deteriorate your life, and self-destruct. Or it can be an opportunity to learn, to grow, to experience more depth in your life and your relationships, and a chance to transform your way of life.
What amazes me is how most of us begin to recognize what we’ve taken for granted once we experience pain and loss. We suddenly become grateful for even the smallest gesture from another person. Part of the reason is because we feel vulnerable and sensitive but also because we become more humble. This is what transformation is all about.
You are the phoenix reborn from its own ashes. It’s the part of you that can reach deep down inside and bring forward a part of you that appreciates what you have, that is prepared to step up and go after what you really want, the part of you that is finally ready to let go of a piece of you that no longer serves you. Keep in mind that whatever you keep in your life grows. That means that you have to be selective in what you give your energy to in your life. The more you direct your energy towards what you do want, the more it will grow. The more you starve your attention on an area of your life, the more it will die off. You just have to be willing to fight for what you want in your life.
As I mentioned earlier, the most difficult battles we fight in our lives are the fights within ourselves. It’s the fight against our insecurities, our perceived weaknesses, and the voice in our head that tells us self-defeating messages, like were “not good enough.” This is especially true when it comes to setting higher standards for ourselves.
Trying to live up to higher standards of who we want to be in our lives and what we want to change can be overwhelming. Have faith. Develop an attitude that you’re willing to do whatever it takes. That even if it takes you years to be where you want to be you’re going to get there. That no matter what challenges come your way you’ll get through them.
To read more insights from Garett check out his new book “Get Up and Keep Going” at Garett’s Guidance
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