For most of my life I talked myself into thinking I was a very courageous person. Nothing ever stopped me from doing or saying what I wanted.
But it turns out I wasn’t being courageous at all. Having a big mouth and a strong personality doesn’t make you courageous, though it can make everyone around you think you are.
Which was fine by me. I liked people thinking of me this way, because then I didn’t have to share how I felt every day, didn’t have to deal with it. It seemed far easier to make everything look like it was perfect, even though nothing really was.
I wouldn’t even share if I was sick with a cold. Admitting I was ill was like admitting I was weak, broadcasting defencelessness to anyone who wanted to hurt me. During some of these times I’d just disappear off everyone’s radar until I felt strong enough to protect myself again.
For years I’ve been on a journey, learning how to live a more positive, wholehearted life. Yet time and time again this one key factor always stunted my growth.
I feared vulnerability.
And though I’m still struggling with it, something has changed.
Recently I learned that courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.”
On November 24th, 2015 I decided it was time to tell all my heart and I wrote the following Facebook post.
November 24th, 2015
Vulnerability is one of the hardest emotions for me, but today I am going to be vulnerable and ask for everyone’s help. I have to go up against one of the most negative human beings and I am feeling a little anxious. I am reaching out to all my friends to help me by sending positive intentions and vibes to get through this. Recently I was told I can do anything, but I don’t have to do everything and I definitely don’t have to do it alone!! Love you all!! xo
The response was overwhelming!! No one tried to use my vulnerability against me and hurt me, no one judged me. In fact, the result of this very difficult moment in my life was true support!
I got phone calls, texts, messages and emails. Hundreds of them. From friends, acquaintances, and even people I’d never met.
There are moments in your life that change you forever….
This moment was one of mine.
Hours later I posted another note.
November 24th, 2015
Today I had to do battle with a very toxic person in my life and I decided to go outside my comfort zone and be vulnerable and ask for positive help!! There are no words to describe the love that was sent my way. The phone calls, messages, emails and texts were overwhelming!! I felt like I had an army of positive people behind me and an armour of strength that I have never felt before!! Today I was successful and I am finally free!! Thank you to each and every bright and shiny soul that took the time to reach out to me in a time of weakness!! I will forever have each and every one of your backs whenever you need it!! #armyofpositivepeople #lovewins
This was the beginning of the Positive People Army. If an amazing moment like this could happen for me…why can’t I help make it happen for anyone else who needs it?
We are all vulnerable, but we NEVER have to be alone!
Written by Heidi (Founder of the Positive People Army)