I Will Rise Like The Phoenix – Written by Deb

Fear exists for all of us. How we deal with the emotion is our choice. Too often, we allow fear, worry, and doubt to dominate and define our lives. We allow it to steal our joy, our sleep, and our precious dreams.

For Deb most of her life was spent in constant fear. Yet, one simple discovery in her life changed everything.

Please enjoy Deb’s inspiring journey.

Heidi Allen – Positive People Army Founder

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Fear, we all have it at some point in life. It’s good to be scared, as they say, it makes us stronger, but fear a lot of times consumes us in so many terrible ways.

Growing up, I always had a fear dialogue in my head. Will kids accept me as I am? Will boys like me? Will I do good enough in school? Will I get a job and be able to survive on my own? The constant worry was incredibly hard to deal with. It truly took its toll on me physical, mentally and emotionally.

In my mid 20’s I was diagnosed with Type A depression about 2 yrs after having my first child. After my second child the depression got worse and I was unable to work. I turned to medication to help me, yet the conversations in my head continued. I wondered how people looked at me. Am I fun enough? Do I look good enough when I’m out in public? Do I look like a tired mom? Do I look like someone that can handle things? I constantly felt like I needed to make a good impression. Fear of not fitting in was huge.

When my kids were in their late teens, my marriage really fell apart. I had always wanted the perfect marriage and for years, even though it wasn’t, I made it look like it was. I felt myself breaking and I knew I couldn’t pretend anymore.  So I left.

My husband stayed in the house with my kids. Leaving them was one of the hardest things I have ever done. My thoughts now became fears that my ex-husband was telling them lies as to why I was the one who left. I agonized that I wasn’t a good enough mom for leaving them. This fear prevented me from fighting for what I should have, in the divorce.

Being single I had hoped I would have felt better, but my fear now turned into new thoughts. I feared people in my small town were looking at me differently. I was scared they would spread rumors and lies. I lost sleep that my kids would hear things about me that weren’t true. I had anxiety that men would not like me, not find me worthy or attractive enough. I was spiraling out of control and needed to change.

For me that shift came with the discovery of the Law of Attraction. The belief that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts a person brings positive or negative experiences into their life.

I finally woke up and realized, I AM WORTHY!

Since that moment I have learned to change my way of thinking. I’ve also learned how to value myself much better. I have made a choice to not let people walk all over me or dictate how my life story goes.

Through all of my life’s trials and tribulations, I have learned many lessons, but the biggest lesson I have learned the most is that fear for me means I will FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE !!!!!!

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If you enjoyed this story you will also love Words Are Powerful – My Journey With Words

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